A New Sense of Purpose
by twm2002
Summary: After the battle with Darth Vader Ahsoka went into exile. A new battle with her emotions has taken over, and when an old friend comes to her with a new task she begins a short journey to comes to terms with herself, and the death of her former master.


A New Sense of Purpose

The change in the Force was noticeable immediately, almost like the feeling of jumping into chilly water…or maybe like realizing the last friend you have is now gone from your life. Even minutes ago, the Force was enveloped in conflict between the light, and the dark, but now it felt almost like it was a peace for the first time in her life.

While the Galaxy was finding itself on the brink of peace as the Galactic Civil War was undoubtedly coming to an end Ahsoka couldn't help but feel conflicted. She was more confused, lost, and depressed than she had been over the past several years. That was saying something. The years she spent in isolation had done nothing but given her time to think about her failures. She had failed as a Jedi, a soldier, a padawan, but most importantly she had failed as a friend. She was reminded of these failures every time she closed her eyes…

" _Do you know who or what that was?"_

" _Anakin Skywalker, he was my Master"_

" _Do you know what happened to him?"_

" _You abandoned me! You failed me!"_

" _I won't leave you! Not this time."_

" _Then you will die."_

What could have caused her best friend to become everything he fought so hard against? What part did she play in it, and could she have prevented it? It was one of the many questions she couldn't stop asking herself over the years, and now she would never get her answers as the only man who could answer them had died just moments ago.

She had felt it. Her last connection to her happiest days was gone. Darth Vader may have been the enemy, the man who had "destroyed" her Master then attempted to kill her, but Anakin had been in there somewhere. But not now, not anymore. She added him to her mental list of people who once brought her immense joy, but now are gone: Padme, Barriss, the Ghost Crew, and Obi-Wan. Except none of them had been as close to her as Anakin. Maybe that's why she still had held out hope that one day he would come find her, and give her life purpose again. Or at least come see her so they could talk just one more time.

That possibility was gone just like everyone she cared about. Then tears started to fall just like that had almost every day before.

"Sulking, and feeling sorry for yourself does not fit you my old friend".

It can't be. She knew that voice, but she shouldn't be hearing it. Sure, she had isolated herself, but she'd spoken to people to get supplies or to receive news so she couldn't be going crazy yet. Ahsoka lifted her tear stained face out of her palms to look around to find whatever illusion her mind conjured up this time.

She turned her body around from her seat in front of her fire only to see a transparent blue figure looking somewhat cross. "You're not crazy, and I'm certainly no image created by your mind due to the lack of company you experience".

Ahsoka was stunned for what seemed like a lifetime. She mustered the effort to speak to a man who she had thought long gone, "m-master Obi-Wan? How can you be here?"

Obi-Wan smiled in amusement at her confusion, "all is possible with the power of the Force young one. As for your second inquiry, it's not so much how I'm here, but the why".

"I'm not sure what you could mean Master".

Obi-Wan's translucent form walked over to sit between her, and her fireplace in a meditative stance. After a moment, he looked at her with an expression that conveyed sadness, and relief? "As I'm sure you're now aware the Force is now in a state of calm that no living being has been able to experience before".

"I've felt it. The Sith have been destroyed. It also means that…that…" She couldn't bring herself to voice the realization that the man she wanted to save was dead. The tears came back once again.

"It means that Darth Vader has been destroyed yes. What you have yet to know is that it was Anakin who vanquished the Sith, and fulfilled the prophecy as he was meant to. Despite my doubts about his ability to do so".

An extended period of silence filled the room until what Obi-Wan had told her finally registered. "What do you mean _Anakin_ vanquished the Sith?" Her face contorted into one of confusion, and hope as she waited for an answer.

"Just mere minutes ago Anakin was able to do the impossible, and returned to the light in order to fulfill his destiny. The circumstances of how he could achieve this feat are somewhat irrelevant, but you will find out soon enough I'm sure. All of this leads to why I've come before you now. It seems the Force is has a new purpose for you".

The middle-aged woman squinted her bright blue eyes showing Obi-Wan her skepticism. "What do you mean the Force has a new purpose for me? I have no purpose…not anymore".

Her master's master smiled warmly as if he was soothing a child who had a difficult day at school, "you still have much to learn Ahsoka. While you've been in your self-imposed exile there have been many things you've missed. More specifically, you're unaware of a new Jedi who needs guidance in building a new order".

She hung her head immediately, "no. I won't do it. I'm in no mood to remind myself of more of my failures. I'm not ready to put myself through that pain. I'm no use to any new order".

The blue apparition simply looked at her with sympathetic eyes. It was only after she finally made eye contact with him that he spoke, "I know you're in pain, and you blame yourself for what has happened. You must not keep yourself to this lonely prison any longer as it does you no good. I understand what you feel, more than anyone I understand what you're going through. What helped me through my hurt was finding something to do so that is what you must do. It will help you find the answers you need, and find a way to deal with your depression".

Ahsoka took a deep breath to steady herself. Helping rebuild the order would give her life some sort of meaning, and maybe give her self-esteem a boost since it couldn't go anywhere but up at this point. Then it dawned on her; this could give her an opportunity to form an order who would listen to the concerns of its Jedi, an order who wouldn't become soldiers in anymore wars. She could help establish an order who wouldn't sacrifice one of their own just to soothe the concerns of a government. "Master, where should I go? Who will I be helping? What should our goals even be?" Her mind was just reeling with questions as she hadn't helped anyone -including herself- in so long.

"I will not be able to give you all of the answers you seek as you must find them yourself over time. However, I will give you some necessary information for your endeavor. First, you must go to the temple where you will find the young man you'll be helping. Second, and more important is that you will have to face many challenges along the way. You may overcome some of these, and others you may just learn to live with. This is your journey Ahsoka, and you will have to learn to help yourself in order to help form a new order". As he finished speaking Obi-Wan began to stand up and fade away.

Ahsoka's anxiety began to spike as she saw him begin to fade away, "Master Kenobi wait! I don't know what help I'll be to him! Please, don't go. I have so many more questions to ask!"

With one last smile the ghostly apparition faded, but the broken woman could hear his last words to her, "all in due time".

* * *

As she gathered the few possessions she had around her cabin Ahsoka couldn't help, but wonder why the Force wanted this of her. She wasn't a Jedi anymore, and hadn't been for a long time. What good would that do? Her master had never really been one to follow orders so naturally the apprentice followed in his footsteps. What would he do is he got the chance to remake the order? He would probably have made it more lenient on its rules, and maybe he would've made guidelines to prevent his turn to the darkside.

That line of thinking wouldn't be good for her mental health, but she couldn't help it. Could he come visit her like Obi-Wan did? If he could then she couldn't think of many reasons why he'd want to come see her. Sure they had been friends, but she ruined that when she abandoned him to his dark fate. When she tried to help him on Malachor he had denied her attempts at reconciliation, and she couldn't blame him. It was far too little far too late to mean anything to him. It made her feel even worse that he was gone now with no chance to let her explain anything.

Her current mental state wasn't going to improve as long as she focused on her old wounds. Instead she packed her holocrons -especially the one of Anakin practicing his forms since it would help future Jedi- and the few clothes she had before setting out, taking one final look at the cabin she had lived in since her life had completely fallen apart on Malachor.

The walk to her shuttle was normally a long one, but getting lost in your thoughts will take any lengthy task then shorten it substantially. All she could think of were questions that were not going to be answered anytime soon. The young man that Obi-Wan referred to must have also been in contact with him or at least some other former Jedi. He also must be very talented or at least responsible to become the new Grand Master.

Ahoska made her way up the shuttle's ramp, and set course for Coruscant. She didn't know much about the war anymore, but the rebels must've made considerable progress if she could land there safely. Master Kenobi had never led her into harm's way before so she wouldn't doubt him now. As she sat back in the seat she realized how tired she was. It was late at night, and her talk with Obi-Wan was very taxing on her mentally. Sleep was the easiest way to pass the time so without a second thought she closed her eyes then drifted off into a dream.

 _Her breathing was heavy as she felt exhausted, but her vision was tinted red. Looking down she saw her right hand was gone, but it must have been mechanical since wires poured out of her wrist. As she became aware of her surroundings she noticed there was a cloaked figure to her left speaking to someone on the floor._

" _And now young Skywalker, you will die". No….no! Not again, she won't fail for a third time. Turning to see who the man in the cloak was speaking to she saw another man with blonde hair writhing in pain. Feelings of protectiveness and courage overtook her self-preservation. Taking a step towards the cloaked figure she made sure that the man on the ground would never go through another moment of pain._

Ahsoka opened her eyes she thought about what her dream could possibly have meant. She had both her arms, and her eye sight was fine. She knew only one Skywalker so it had to have been Anakin being attacked, but it didn't look like the man she remembered. Then again, Vader didn't live up to those expectations either. Just more questions that wouldn't be answered.

Lifting her head up and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes showed her that she had slept through the entire journey to Coruscant. It looked just like she remembered, and as she entered the planet's atmosphere she could see that the skylines were the same. The planet may have been just like she remembered, but the thing that mattered most was that the people were all different. It was something she just had to take in stride, which would no doubt be easier said than done.

Once her shuttle had been set down, and her pack was gathered she started to make her way to the temple -or the Imperial Palace now- by way of taxi. It wasn't until she spoke to her pink twi'lek driver that she completely understood the changes that had occurred in her exile. Ahsoka heard her speak, but the words didn't register. The pink skinned driver simply smiled then asked again, "I said, what are your thoughts about the rebellion's victories at Endor, and here on Imperial Center?"

Obviously, she hadn't heard about either of them, and even though she despised the new name for _Coruscant_ the idea of the war coming to the Empire's capital intrigued her, "what happened here? It doesn't look like much of a war zone to me".

The woman's eye brows shot up, and her eyes seemed to grow wide "you mean you haven't heard? It's been all over the holonet! After the battle over Endor the Rebellion swiftly came here to take advantage of their momentum. Since Emperor Palpatine and Lord Vader were killed in the battle it seemed that the Empire had nobody to take charge. It was like participating in a pod race knowing the other pilots' ships were damaged".

Ahsoka really had been gone for too long it seemed, but at least she could learn a little about what happened in her absence. "I haven't really had much connection to recent events in case you couldn't tell. Who would you say is in charge now, and wouldn't the garrison here have put up a fight?"

The twi'lek seemed even more excited to tell the series of events now that she caught Ahsoka's attention, "Well that's what's so remarkable! The officers here were so caught off guard by the defeat of the Emperor that they didn't know the Rebellion was here until the ships were in orbit. By that time there was no chance of getting off planet, and the Governor simply offered a surrender. The Stormtroopers were to lay down their arms in return for pardons as well as control of the planet. As for the leadership, I think it must be the Rebellion's High Council, and that consists of Mon Mothma, Princess Leia Organa, and their military. Interestingly enough they have a Jedi too! Imagine that."

Before Ahsoka could begin to ask about the Jedi they had reached the old Jedi Temple, and now the Imperial Palace. With a warm smile the Twi'lek driver wished her a good day, and let her out of the speeder to face what would no doubt be a tough afternoon.

As Ahsoka neared the grand entrance to the Temple she couldn't help but be reminded of that day so long ago…

 _"You're making a mistake"._

 _"Maybe, but it's something I need to figure out without the Jedi…and without you"._

A new wave of regret, and self-loathing hit her as she slowly climbed the enormous set of stairs. If only she had put her selfishness aside to help the young man who had done so much for her. Anakin would never have left her or let her down. Padme and her master fought tooth and nail to make sure her name was cleared, then she left him as a thank you. How despicable could she be?

As she reached the top of the steps a voice broke her out of her self-hatred, "can I help you ma'am?"

Ahsoka picked her head up before familiar tears could fall. With a shaky voice she replied, "yes, or at least I hope so. I heard there was a Jedi trying to restart the order. I used to be one, and I didn't know where else to go. This used to be my home when I was part of the order so I was hoping the new Jedi would be here".

The young man looked surprised, "I wasn't aware there were any left. I think you should come with me. This may have been the old temple, but it's currently where the High Council of the Rebellion is. I'll leave the rest of my squadron here, and let's go see if we can speak to them or find Master Luke".

The Togruta woman perked her head up, and began to walk with the guard throughout the hallways of her former home. "Who is this 'Master Luke' you mentioned?"

He glanced at her over his shoulder as he spoke in a neutral tone, "he's a hero of the Rebellion. Not only did he destroy the first Death Star, but he killed both the Emperor and Darth Vader. Seems only right that he has the rank of Master".

This "Luke" sounds impressive, and is obviously somewhat powerful if what this man says is true. If he could single handedly turn the tide of a battle then he most certainly does deserve the rank of Jedi Master. Yet, this man is the reason she will never be able to have closure where Anakin is concerned; for this reason, Ahsoka began to feel a sense of resentment as well as bitterness without ever meeting this man.

The pair walked along the hallways in silence until they reached what formerly was the room of the Jedi council. The middle-aged guard knocked on the door, which opened immediately. After some words were spoken between the guard and the Alliance leadership Ahsoka was led into the chamber and shown to a seat across from them.

A long moment passed as the Alliance members looked over Ahsoka like she was a fine statue. Finally A redheaded woman dressed in fine white robes addressed her, "hello there. My name is Mon Mothma, and the guard who escorted you in here told us that you wished to offer us your services. Would you mind telling us your name, a little about yourself, and what your specialty is?"

The woman's voice sounded somewhat soothing. She could feel her shoulders relax a little bit, then took a deep breath before saying in a slow manner, "my name is Ahsoka Tano, and I used to be a Jedi during the Clone Wars. Not too long ago I was a 'fulcrum' agent, but became isolated after I became injured in a duel. I don't really have a specialty anymore, but I came here to help a young man build a new Jedi order…if that's acceptable to him".

Before Mon Mothma was able to respond to her a shocked voice cut her off, "you came to help me? But, who told you about my mission to rebuild the order?"

Ahsoka simply stared at the young man before her with wide eyes. The hair color. The dimple on his chin. Those deep blue eyes that could convey meaning that no words could. This was the man in her dream, but it wasn't Anakin although they could be brothers. What sort of cruel joke was this?

The Anakin-knock-off spoke again, "are you all right? I didn't mean to be so upfront with you, but it's surprising to meet a former Jedi since I thought I was the last one."

Finally, she managed to find her voice, "I left before the purges. I was told by an old friend, and I don't think you would believe me if I told you who it was. I came to offer what I could, which may not be much". She had to know one thing before she moved on, "what's your name?" Maybe this would explain why this young man looked so much like her best friend.

The blonde-haired man smiled before her, obviously taking pride in his name. He looked her into eyes and said, "My name is Luke Skywalker. If you're from the Clone Wars then you may know about my father Anakin Skywalker".

* * *

He seemed to look upset as he finished his sentence, but Ahsoka was too stunned to care. The reason he felt so familiar in the force, looked so familiar, and the reason Obi-Wan gave her the mission all made sense now. He was Anakin's boy! Skyguy had left a part of himself behind for her to connect with, a connection to the happiest part of her life. For the first time in what felt like forever Ahsoka Tano felt hope. She had so many feelings, and thoughts running through her head that she forgot that she was staring at the poor boy, probably making him uncomfortable too.

"Well, it seems that this is mostly a matter to be handled by Master Skywalker. We may have our own questions for you in the near future, but for now it seems that this is a Jedi matter. We wish you both luck, and may the Force be with you both" Mothma told them both with a wide smile.

With a nod Luke stood up from his chair and motioned for his father's former padawan to follow him. As they walked down the halls of the temple the young Skywalker broke the silence, "why did you come to find me? You can tell me, and I would like you to do so. The others may not have believed whatever happened, but the past few years have taught me that reality isn't always what it seems".

Ahsoka took a deep breath, and hoped that she would make a good first impression on Luke. She got the feeling that he would become a big part of her life in the coming months so she told herself that honest would get her far with him. She exhaled heavily, "An old friend came to tell me that the Force was requesting this of me. Over the past few years I've been keeping to myself without much sense of purpose. Apparently, this old friend of mine thought that helping you would five me something to do".

Luke stopped walking and blue eyes met as he turned to face her. His serious expression reminded her of the one that would reprimand her during her teenage years during her Jedi days. Just like then she began to squirm, and shy away from the deep stare that only Skywalkers could give. The young man clasped his hands behind his back before speaking, "I can tell that you are hesitant to tell me who your friend is. You have nothing to fear from me Ms. Tano. I will not judge you. I just want to know who told you about my desire to rebuild the order. I only know of three former Jedi…. they're all dead now so it couldn't have been them. The other two wouldn't have had a chance to meet you so I'm curious".

With a sense of irritation Ahsoka looked into Luke's eyes, "Please don't call me 'Ms. Tano'. It's too formal, and I don't see myself as that old yet. My old friend was named Obi-Wan Kenobi, but he's been dead for a while I believe".

Luke sensed the honesty behind her words, and gave her a genuine smile that made her feel good for the first time in a long time. He turned to continue their walk, and spoke in a much less serious tone, "so Obi-Wan has spoken to you huh?" He looked over his shoulder to see confusion on her face so he continued. "Obi-Wan, or Ben, as I knew him was my mentor as I learned the ways of the Jedi. When we tried to rescue my sister from the Death Star he was cut down by Darth Vader…he does still come to talk with me as well, but not for a few weeks".

The sadness within Ahsoka returned tenfold despite being in the presence of her master's son. Not only did he have a sister (why this made her upset she'd yet to understand), but Ana-Darth Vader cut down the only father figure he had ever known. The three of them fought side by side during the Clone Wars, and it wasn't until she was arrested that their comradery had ended. What happened to the man she idolized?

"Ahsoka, are you all right?"

She lifted her head, and could feel her crippling depression coming on. She wanted to be alone to think or break down again. "Would it be possible to go to my old room Luke? I don't want to be rude, but I think I need to rest".

The Jedi Master knew she wasn't all right since she didn't even answer the question, but didn't push her. They walked in silence until they reached her door. Luke wished her well, and made sure that she knew that he would help her if she needed it. As he walked away from her room he wondered what had made this woman so depressed? He could feel the waves of sadness, regret, and self-loathing the minute he saw her. She had a moment of relief, and almost joy when she heard his name, but he chalked it up to meeting a Jedi again. He'd have to talk with Ahsoka Tano again soon, but for now he wondered what his sister's thoughts were on the matter.

* * *

"Well it sounds to me like she's very troubled Luke. She obviously carries a lot of baggage around with her, and I think you may need to help her with it. It's only right if she helps you build your new order" Leia remarked after hearing her brother's first impressions about the new arrival.

"There's something more to her than she's letting on though. I sense there's something she hasn't told me, and I think it's key to why she's going to help me"

"Just don't force her to tell you okay? Wait until she's ready to speak freely, and comfortable around you. If someone tried to force something out of me then I wouldn't exactly be kind afterwards" said Leia with a smile.

"I think you're right as you tend to be most times. You've never led me astray yet. Maybe you can come down to meet her when you're available. Or I'll take her here if we need to get out of the palace".

"That sounds wonderful, just let me know beforehand so I can have Han here too".

"That sounds great Leia. I'm probably going to head back to get things a little more organized, and unpack. Maybe it'll make her a little more at ease to share her thoughts about how to help". After sharing their goodbyes Luke left Leia's apartment, and quickly headed towards the building that had been his home for the past few days. As he set his speeder down on the landing pad a thought came to mind, and he started to walk down the halls that were once filled with boundless energy.

He wasn't sure when he would find it, but he just knew he had to. Not for the first time Luke began to wonder what these now decorated hallways were like. The Temple was cloaked in red linens, ornate statues, and banners imprinted with the symbol of the Empire (hopefully they would redecorate soon). He began to wonder what the temple was like when Ben was here, or Ahsoka, or his father…it was at this last thought that he found what he was looking for.

Luke walked up to the silver doorframe then dusted off the plaque on the frame that read " _Anakin Skywalker_ ". Taking a deep breath Luke opened the door and stepped inside. Now, he had been to Obi-Wan's room and it looked just like his house; sparse with few possessions. His father's room was so different. There were podracing posters, model ships (just like his own), and some clothing, all of which were caked in dust. Anakin's son stepped inside to look around, and to get a sense of the man who had saved his life, but took many others.

What happened to you father? It's all Luke could ask himself as he looked through the ship manuals, sword fighting styles, and his things. The young man looked at the chrono on the wall and saw it was almost 11:00 pm. He'd been going through his father's things for hours! He dusted off the bed, grabbed a cloak from the closet to use as a blanket, and drifted off to sleep only to dream about the man who had been his hero growing up.

Ahsoka woke up to the sound of speeders going past her window. It reminded her of how her current residence was such a far cry from the cabin she had built in a forest purposely trying to avoid people. She opened her blue eyes to look around the room she lived in so long ago. Last night had been just like so many others as she thought about what could have been. With those thoughts came a revelation, maybe now is the time to make up for her past mistakes. She could speak to Luke, and get to know him. It wouldn't completely repair the wound that will permanently scar her heart, but more importantly it was a start to making her useful again.

Before she found Luke, she had to check one room as painful as it would be for her. It would give her a chance to reconnect with her old master, but as she opened the door to his room she was met with a surprise. "Good morning young Luke" she said with a slight smile. It warmed her to see the boy in his father's room. It just seemed right.

"Hmm?" the boy was obviously deep in sleep, and she had woken him up. The whole thing made her laugh to herself. Luke wiped the sleep out of his eyes, "oh. Good morning Ahsoka. Are you feeling okay, or is there something I can get you?"

The boy was obviously very thoughtful, "no that's all right Luke, and I am feeling better thank you". Seeing the confusion on his face she decided to continue, "I didn't know you were in here to be honest, but I probably could've assumed you would be. I came here to see how things have changed, and to be honest with you they haven't".

Luke sat right up, but continued to rub his eyes. "You knew my father?" His voice was laced with poorly hidden excitement.

Ahsoka sat down next to Luke, and looked around the room. "I know you asked last night, and I'm sorry I wasn't able to answer you. It's just that the question brought up some very strong feelings that I haven't been able to deal with yet". She took a long pause to gather herself before she replied, "I like to think I knew your father better than anyone. He was my master, and my best friend. There was so much about him that made him my closest friend. Obviously, I didn't know everything though as I had no idea he had children, but I think I could guess who your mother is".

"What was he like? And who was my mother? I have so many questions". Luke felt excited! He had someone who could tell him about the family he never met, and here next to him was his father's student who also knew Obi-Wan. She was even going to help him rebuild the order!

She snickered, "one at a time Luke. Although we do have a long time to talk about these things, don't we? My guess is that your mother was named Padme Amidala. She was a Senator from Naboo. She was very beautiful, and one of the kindest people you could ever meet. Your father and her had known each other since they were kids. They always stole glances at each other when nobody was supposed to be looking. Now that I think about it, they were pretty obvious". Luke looked at her with a thoughtful expression, and she continued.

"Your father though, he was an outcast within the order from day one. He would never follow their rules, and always tried to do what he thought was right. The Jedi council wanted everyone to be able to hide any feelings that may interfere with a mission, and I think that's where your father was never able to fit in. He was so passionate about saving others that he would often disobey the council. It's what made him so reckless yet successful. Obi-Wan, Anakin, and I went on so many missions together that it was easy to see what made him such a great Jedi. It's what made him such a great person. I was only 14 when I became his padawan, and he was just barely 18. Two kids fighting in a war that we had no business in. I knew him so well. He defended me when the Jedi thought I was behind an attack on the temple. Your mother was my lawyer in court, and they stood by me from the start. When the charges were dropped the Jedi never apologized. Instead they said it was just part of my trials. I couldn't deal with the lack of trust so I left. I abandoned my best friend. I've never forgiven myself". She finished speaking and here voice cracked. Despite feeling her sadness return she had to admit that getting her feelings out made her feel so much better. Add that to the fact that Luke wanted to know these things and she couldn't help but feel lighter.

Luke simply looked at her, and as their eyes met Ahsoka had to look down. Had she said too much? Did he not want to know these things? Maybe it was wrong to reveal herself so soon. Suddenly she heard the boy's relaxing voice ask her something, "you loved him, didn't you?"

Ahsoka looked up in shock, "what?"

"It's okay if you did. He sounds like an amazing man, and you sound very passionate about him. The Jedi may have wanted you to hide your feelings, but it seems that you still had them no matter what. I just think that it sounds like you wanted more to me".

She was quiet as she thought out loud, "maybe…maybe I did. He was the only man around my age that I knew so well. He was always so good to me, and taught me how to be a good person. I always try to be loyal like he was. I'm not sure what type of love it is, but I think you're right. I do. I fought Darth Vader years ago, and lost more than the battle. It's why I isolated myself. I didn't understand who he was, and I'm depressed over it. I couldn't help but think that I could help somehow, and then I felt he died so I gave up hope".

"Can I tell you something?" Luke asked, and she knew that this would be his attempt to make her feel better.

"Of course Luke. You can say whatever comes to mind".

"Father didn't die as Darth Vader. As I confronted him and the Emperor we battled for the second time, but I bested him. It wasn't until the Emperor was close to killing me that Anakin truly came back, and killed his master in order to save me. It was because he loved me, and I will never forget what he did for me". Luke looked at her to see she was crying, and he put his arm on her back to make her feel more comfortable. "I think I was meant to be the one to save him. Maybe I represented what his life could be as opposed to the failures _he_ had before. Maybe I gave him a chance to create a future, and not relive the past. It has nothing to do with you Ahsoka, but everything to do with what I represented so you cannot blame yourself. If what you say is true about him then there's no way he didn't care about you in return".

With that Ahoska felt the world lift off of her shoulders. She hugged Luke, and cried as she finally understood why she couldn't help her master. It wasn't meant to be her. The Force had other ideas in mind, and it had to be Luke. The relief that came with his words was indescribable, and so he let her cry. Between sobs she managed to say "he…he would have…loved you Luke. More than you could know".

* * *

The two Jedi took some time to compose themselves, but they began to plan their new order around several things: allowing relationships to form between Jedi or non-force users, they would not be used as soldiers in wars, and they would be responsible to the Senate instead of the Chancellor. Luke, and Ahsoka hoped that these changes would keep another situation like Anakin's from occurring. It was a start that they hoped would blossom into a flourishing order in no time.

After Luke's persuasion Ahsoka accepted a leading role in the order. He definitely inherited his mother's diplomatic skills as she was dead set against it at first. The only condition she required was that she would be able to choose her own missions, and a student if the time came.

It was late at night when the two finished up their blueprint for future Jedi. It was then Ahsoka who proposed that they have a sparring session to blow off some steam, and to see if the boy was as skilled as her master. As their blades clashed the middle-aged Togruta began to smile, and laugh. Luke was skilled for his age, and had so much potential. He would make Anakin proud.

As they finished their spar in a stalemate something popped in her mind, "would you like to see your father?"

Luke scrunched his face in confusion, "what do you mean?"

She simply motioned for him to follow, and they made it to her room. She went into her closet then came out with a blue polygon. Using the Force she opened the holocron and sure enough a very young Anakin appeared showing his own variation on lightsaber techniques.

"He's amazing. He looks so much like me." Luke looked on in awe at the man who he had admired growing up. Despite knowing nothing about him when he lived on Tatooine this is exactly what he thought he would be like. As it ended he looked at Ahsoka, "thank you. You don't know how much this means to me".

Despite knowing the boy for only a couple days she simple smiled at him, letting her expression say all it needed to before watching the holocron with Luke once again.

It wasn't long after that the two Jedi began to find force wielders within the ranks of the rebellion, and they decided to begin to train them. Within weeks of arriving on Coruscant Ahsoka had begun to instruct men, and women of all species basic force techniques. They listened well despite their frustration at not being able to lift crates or push one another using the force. It was a work in progress, but day after day she felt better about herself. Yet there was still an old wound that wouldn't heal.

As she returned to her room she felt exhausted. After several hours of teaching her students how to meditate, then speaking with Luke about starting sparring sessions she just wanted to sleep. However, somebody refused to let her do so.

"You've done very well my old friend".

Ahsoka sat up, and smiled at the ghost "hello Obi-Wan. Long time no see."

The shimmering specter grinned at her, "indeed it has. It was about a month ago I saw you, and I must say you've done remarkably well within that time helping young Luke with his goal."

"Thank you Obi-Wan, but I know you well enough to know that wasn't the only reason you sent me here" Ahsoka said with a sly tone, and smile.

"You're quite right. I sent you here to help Luke, but I also knew that you needed to help yourself. The Jedi with survive as they always have, and they need you to be strong. They need you to be able to tell them how to deal their emotional struggles, and be better for it. More importantly, I knew that you had been hurting so I thought that this would help you deal with your pain". Obi-Wan came to sit next to her as he finished speaking to her.

Ahsoka sighed then replied softly, "I feel much more like myself, but you know what I need for closure." She paused slightly before continuing, "he could come see me like you, couldn't he?"

Obi-Wan sighed, "yes he could. Anakin has the ability, but he's not ready to face one of his biggest mistakes. He does regret what he did to you, more than you know. It will take some time before he's willing to try to make things right. He believes he's beyond redemption."

Her anger was rising as was her frustration, "I don't care about what he's done! That's not why I want to see him. I have to tell him I'm sorry! I have to tell him so many things…."

The force ghost smiled at her with sympathy, "soon Ahsoka. You will hear from him soon enough. In the meantime continue with your teachings, and you will find that your answer will come faster than you think."

"Obi-Wan! Don't go! Dammit!" She threw her pack across the room and shattered the only light that kept her room lit. She was so frustrated. For so long she waited to speak to her master, and for so long she waited just to see him. What's so wrong with her? After so long she finally dealt with the hurt of leaving the Jedi, finally felt somewhat useful, but the one wound that remained open wouldn't close as long as Anakin didn't want to see her. It was so agonizing.

* * *

Day after day, week after week she waited to hear from the ghost. She had grown so close to Luke that he began to think of her as the mother he never really had. It warmed her heart that he thought so highly of her. Of course, Ahsoka had a wealth of information to tell him in regards to his parents, the Jedi, and life to share with him.

Her students progressed faster than she hoped, and soon they had their own lightsabers to practice with. She felt better than she had in years. Almost everything had fallen into place in comparison to that day months ago when she felt the most important man in her life slip away

Tonight was just like any other night. The speeders were flying by in their endless stream as always, and the night breeze provided Ahsoka with a pleasant feeling. Rain drops splashed around her, but it was a refreshing contrast to the usual warmth that graced her orange skin. Luke went to bed not too long ago, and few Jedi roamed the halls. It was a long day of learning force techniques for them, and even though they were becoming more self-sufficient Luke and her still had much to teach them. She was so lost in thought that she couldn't feel the rain beginning to fall faster; she would have had to have been dead not to feel a familiar presence appear behind her though.

She didn't turn. She didn't want to be wrong like she had been so many times before. It had been nearly five months, and it was an excruciating wait. If she was wrong this time she doubted she would stay sane for long. It may have been a normal night at first, but it wasn't going to be one for long.

"Ahsoka, I'm so proud of you."

Six words. That's all it took for her to start crying. She couldn't even reply so instead the presence continued. "In no time at all you've become a better role model than I ever could be. You knew what I did, but you still showed him what good in me there was – _is._ I know what I did to you is unforgivable, and there won't be a day that goes by where I don't tear myself apart for hurting you. No words can let you know how much I regret that. You deserve so much more."

She couldn't hold it together anymore, and just let it all out. Every ounce of frustration, self-hatred, and sadness came out. Ahsoka began to make noises she didn't know she could make as all her pent up feelings released.

Anakin knelt down to look at her, "Ahsoka. Ahsoka look at me." She just shook her head, and continued her meltdown like a child who lost a pet. "Snips, please look at me. We both need this." Finally, she gazed upon the blue figure of her master. Just like she remembered him. No suit, and no hatred. Just him.

She began to pull herself together, but was failing to do so completely. "Hello, Anakin" she said with such sadness in her voice.

Anakin just looked into her deep blue eyes before he spoke again, "you can't do this to yourself. I'm not worth your misery. You're capable of such life, and love. It kills me to know that you aren't full yourself. Well, I guess it would kill me if I wasn't…well you know."

Ahsoka choked out a laugh between sobs, "that's not funny. I've had the worst time dealing with it. I-I'm so sorry I left you. If I had sta- "

She was cut off, "no. You don't get to think like that. I wish I had taken Padme, and gone with you. I should have left then. I should have done many things, but never had the guts or the chance. I was too selfish, and arrogant to realize what I was doing. You were never the problem Ahsoka, just a solution to problems I never knew I had until now. I turned, because I craved power and to save Padme from my dreams. I was used by the Emperor until Luke saved me. You were not the problem so don't you dare think you were."

His voice was so passionate, and so caring that Ahsoka began to feel some finality with this part of herself. "I wish you could've come seen me sooner. I know you weren't ready, but I miss you master."

Anakin smiled at her, and put a transparent hand on her shoulder. "I miss you too. Someday you'll be here with me, but for now you have your new duty to attend to. You get to help my son, and tell him all of our wonderful misadventures. You get to fix the order, and help the Galaxy. I can take a backseat to that anytime."

They fell into a comfortable silence. The rain began to slow down, and Anakin rose "I must leave for now Ahsoka, but remember that you will never be alone. Go into my room, and open the cockpit to the yellow star fighter model."

Ahsoka stood up immediately, "I will Anakin. Don't take so long to visit me again please. I'll make you proud."

Anakin smiled, "you already have."

As her master faded away she stood up and ran down the halls in her soaking wet clothing. He feet squished in her boots, not caring who saw the second most powerful living Jedi run down the halls. She felt lighter than she had since she was a padawan. As she came to a halt outside Anakin's room she opened the door then walked over to his desk. Her eyes darted across the desk until she saw the model. Opening the cockpit her heart sped up, with her emotions coming back to her. _He kept it_. She picked up her padawan braid, and held it to her chest. This meant so many things to her, but only one thing came to mind; she felt whole again.


End file.
